Never Forget to Remember

Ever notice how everything seems to accelerate as the year nears it's end? I'm already living on 2008 time. Forward is the word at the forefront. Why should this be so? Why do the last two months of the year seem almost compressed into one?

I don't have the answer. I'm just a bystander, neither innocent or guilty, or perhaps both, of joining that crush. What I do know is that it takes a toll. Nerves fray, voices rise in pitch and volume, and words sometimes sting like arrows of outrage. We take to opposite corners of the ring and come out swinging, metaphorically. Then there are the sad and silent types, who internalize the hurt. And every shade of pain in between.

What if there was something we could do, other than succumbing to chemicals, to help us maintain and restrain our attitudes, the proverbial angels of our better nature sitting on our shoulders?

I have a habit, good or bad depending on how one perceives it, of saving cards that I've received over the past thirty years. Birthdays, anniversaries, Father's days, Valentines days. Boxes upon boxes. They're stuffed into and poking out of every nook and cranny I can commandeer. I've been meaning to organize them for the past thirty years, too. Procrastination overpowers me and they remain stashed. Recently, I decided to take another stab at it. Pulling out the piles from my closet floor, I started to sort them by event and year. This necessitated that I open each one to seek a date. When none could be found I resorted to reading them for a clue or memory-jogger.

As I read, my curiosity was overcome by the feelings that were evoked by the words on those sheets of Hallmark. It was almost as if they were written to someone else. How could these emotional tsunamis have washed over me so completely, ultimately becoming relegated to these impersonal boxes in the closet?

Forward motion, that's how. Leaving those old missives in it's wake while the next batch lay bundled, waiting for a date. And those, too, will most likely be tossed aside once it's over. And that's a terrible shame. Because within them are the voices of those we love, frozen in time, reminding us that no disagreement is so great, no position so powerful that it can overshadow the positive prose in those papers.

This is not meant to be a thesis on nostalgia. Quite the contrary. What I would ask is that, when next you find yourself hyperventilating or just venting in your haste to keep up, slow down. Find your cache of old cards and just read. You'll be amazed at how those old sentiments will snap you back to what really matters. Always did, always will. Reminders of how we were, and are, still loved. And remember - as four wise men once said: All you need is love.

Happy Givingthanks Day!

As we all prepare for the holiday in our own way, we look forward to gathering together with our families and eating, maybe watching a football game, or other family traditions we've practiced for as long as we can remember.

Yes, many activities are associated with this day except one: Giving thanks. Not in the religious sense, necessarily, just doing what the name implies - feeling grateful for what we have and expressing that sentiment to those we love. History tells us that Native Americans and the Pilgrims gathered together to give thanks for a bountiful harvest. I could be wrong, but I don't think too many of us have been harvesting, or maybe the term "harvest" can be extended to include what we've learned and gathered during the year. Even loss prompts memories of the times we've shared with those we miss, and how lucky we feel to have had that time with them.

I have a long list of people to thank this year, and I'd like to start with Gary and Mike. If it weren't for their support the reunion would never have happened.

I want to thank my friends for making the effort to be there. I haven't felt such a feeling of "belonging" in a very long time.

I want to thank my parents, for another year of their love and support.

I want to thank my wife, for putting up with me for another year.

I want to thank my daughter for my two beautiful grandchildren

I feel thankful for every day, knowing that there's no guarantee there will be another one.

I feel so lucky to have had such a great brother. Even though our time together was too short, at least we had that time.

I feel thankful for having a roof over my head, a warm place to sleep, and enough to eat.

I'm very thankful that by next Thanksgiving, George Bush will be on his way out, and, hopefully, our soldiers will be on their way home.

I could go on and on, but I think I've listed the major ones. It's kind of like Yom Kippur in reverse. On that day we ask for forgiveness for the sins we've committed over the year, even if we really didn't commit them (who would have the time, you'd have to be sinning 24/7 to cover them all). On this holiday we celebrate those special moments we've shared, both large and small, and will cherish for the rest of our lives.

And so, I want to to take the time this year to wish every one of you a very happy and healthy Givingthanks day! Here's to many more.

The Curse of Technology

My wife and I were having a quiet breakfast at a small cafe in a nearby town. The server had just brought our meals when my cell phone starting ringing. Not really a ring, more of an annoying, unmodulated noise that made me want to throw it against the wall.

Now the mood was broken. I looked at the cell phone in my hand. It's a fairly new model, with lots of bells and whistles that I will never use. It has a little window on the cover that displays the name or number of the caller, whilst driving me made with it's tone.

I know I can put it on vibrate, which I've tried numerous times, after which, mysteriously, it switches itself back to ring mode. In blissful ignorance I forgot to shut it off during our meal. It never occurred to me that the phone had a mind of it's own and could revert back to ring mode without asking for my permission. True to Murphy's law it did on this occasion and I was so surprised by it that I practically jumped out of my seat.

To make matters worse, the only way I could shut off the phone was to open the cover, which instantly connected me to the caller. I've since configured the feature such that I have to press the "send" button to answer. At least I think I did, my phone might have other plans.

Now I'm committed to dealing with the caller. Not being a terrific multi-tasker, I can't talk on the phone and chew food at the same time. Under normal circumstances, I would ask the caller if I could get back to them at another time, or I would excuse myself and walk away to spare the other diners. Of course, as always, the call couldn't wait, and I was damned if I would let my lox and onion, or, as the restaurant referred to it, Norwegian salmon omelet, get cold. Also, there was a particularly loud group of what were obviously business associates at a nearby table, speaking at the top of their lungs, as if they were all hard of hearing. This would have been the norm if I was in Century Village in Boca, but being in New Jersey it was just plain rude, so, for revenge, I decided to have a loud chat on the phone without leaving the dining room.

As you can imagine, my spouse was not thrilled with this sudden turn of events. One minute we were conversing and having a pleasant meal and the next the phone was ringing and I was fumbling and shouting. End of breakfast date. I will be locking my cell phone in the car when we're out, unless absolutely necessary for communication purposes.

I offer this anecdote as but one example of the curse of technology.

I can remember a time, as many of us can, before the Internet. Before iPods, cell phones, pagers, answering machines, HDTVs, cable and, of course, personal computers. When I first reported to work at Bell Labs in 1983, I was escorted to my office, which consisted of a gun-metal grey desk, a swivel chair and a big HP2621 monitor. I'd never seen one of these before. After spending many minutes searching for the switch, I stared at the green lettering that slowly materialized on the display. An associate handed me a piece of paper and said " This is your log-in user name and password".

I asked her what I was supposed to do with this knowledge. After a painful tutorial I was able to log-in to the main computer. Now what? I soon learned that the purpose of the system was for writing memos and programs. It was mind-boggling at that time to try to grasp the concept of communicating with a giant computer somewhere in the basement of the building. And at three hundred baud speed! You could see each letter as the computer painted it on the screen at about a line a minute.

Thus began my introduction to the world of technology. At that time, it was "cutting edge". What an odd name. A cutting edge sounds like a sword or machete, something used to slash and slice and disembowel. Maybe that was the intent, because the more the technology proliferated the more my edge felt as if it was being cut. Shortly I began making full use of this cutting edge technology to spend long hours at the office, finishing my memos and programs.

Then came the PC. This was truly miraculous. Now I could work long hours at the office AND at home, finishing memos and programs while playing a few rounds of Tetris, Pong or Centipede, all at the same time!

And so the technology continues to evolve exponentially, spawning the conveniences we enjoy today. It would be hypocritical of me to say that I myself am technology averse. Quite the contrary. I spend the greater portion of my day on the computer and cell phone while watching my HDTV and screening calls with my answering machine (I know, that's ancient technology). My wife IS technology averse. I've tried many times to convince her to learn the computer so that she can send and receive emails, but I manage to read and write them sufficiently well for her purposes. I expound endlessly about the virtues of watching TV in HD. She would gladly leave the TV off and read. End of round two. The only time I've won the techno tug -of-war is when I convinced her that she needed a cell phone, for emergencies. And after the breakfast incident, she may be "turned off" to that as well. Pun definitely intended.

So, what is the curse of technology, you may ask? To paraphrase an ancient Chinese saying, "be careful what you wish for, because it may irritate your spouse and take over your life.

And it will be obsolete in six months.

The Reunion Zone

Submitted for your approval: a group of people who shared an uncommon experience - at one time or another they had inhabited the same place, over forty-odd years ago. Not just your ordinary, run-of-the-mill place. A place that was, and still is, inhabited by a spirit. A spirit that can only be found in.......the Reunion Zone.

Fast forward to the present. A hotel in the working-class city of Newark, New Jersey. The kind of hotel that business people often frequent, rushing about in their daily ritual. And there's the occasional party. On this particular night, the eighth of September, in the year 2007, just such an event was in progress, an event not of time, or space, but of mind. And heart.

And it was on this night that the lonely spirit, thought long gone in the ether, reappeared. Quietly, it crept up on the unsuspecting revelers, inhabiting their bodies, infusing a life force they hadn't felt for many years. Taken by surprise, they felt an uncontrollable sensation, compelling them to act in strange ways. Before they knew it, the tears were flowing and they were hugging and kissing one another as if time had stood still. And there was dancing, with wild abandon, shedding the years like an old, wrinkled suit of clothes.

The night wound down, and so did the party. The parting was hard. People slowly drifted back to their hotel rooms to pack for departure, and as they did, pledges were made, such as "I'll stay in touch", "We'll get together soon", and "I'll call you". Some would keep their pledge, most would not. As they drifted off to sleep, they dreamt they could hear the spirit whisper in their ears - "never forget me, for I am the spirit of Omega and I live on in all of you".

Had they been haunted, overtaken by a supernatural force? The truth lies somewhere between fact and fairy tale. You see, the spirit had been in them all along, waiting patiently to be re-awakened in.... the Reunion Zone.