For your consideration - Club Omega!

Ladies and Gentleman,

While you are enjoying the Camp Omega reunion at the fabulous Newark Liberty Airport Marriott, you will be asked to attend a short presentation on Club Omega. Located on the privately owned Caribbean island of Bimi, just a short, thirteen-hour seaplane ride from the coast of Cuba, Club Omega is an exclusive resort for only those privileged few who attended camp from 1965 to 1975. Your baggage will be personally delivered to your rooms by your concierge, Gary Mednick.

We are offering this audience the opportunity to buy in at ground floor prices. Spend your golden years reminiscing about the pink bellies, atomic wedgies, purple flirps, nippie nyopies, nuggies and other warm and wonderful memories of your camping years.

And what makes Club Omega really unique is that there are two separate communities - the Boys Campus Retreat and Girls Campus Spa. Ladies, escape the snoring, belching and other offensive noises of your every day life back home by leaving your hairy hubbies and entering your own sanctuary, featuring private tetherball and punchball, and bunks with all the amenities: fine, hand-crafted cubbies, bunkbeds just like the ones you had at camp, only better, with 600 thread count sheets and 100% down pillows. You will start your day by attending a fascinating lecture at what we call the Flaming Flamingo Flagpole where your host, Mike the Magnificent Fiedler will entrance you with his charming good looks and entertaining stories from his days as headmaster of Omega. We are sure you will fall in love with Michael all over again as he firmly disciplines you for your "bad" behavior! Sorry girls, he's taken, but don't let that stop you.

And men, we haven't forgotten about you! Think of it - a "men-only" private world, with no chores like throwing out the garbage, picking up your socks, and shaving your backs. A place where you can relive your boyhood fantasies - stealing the girls underwear and hanging it from the Flamingo flagpole, putting frogs in their sneakers, and, oh yes, there will be unlimited supplies of creme de la razore and papier de toilette. Well, you get the picture. And you can play nude tetherball to your heart's content - Michael won't discourage you; in fact, he will encourage you and keep his sharp eyes focused on your every move - for your safety, of course.

All meals at Club Omega are complimentary, with gourmet offerings such as our famous "white bread pizza" and tuna tartare avec mayonnaise. Don't forget to leave room for dessert - all you can eat sheet cakes personally prepared for you by Bernice, with your choice of chocolate, vanilla or strawberry icing. And last but not least - our exclusive Jello baths, where you can float on pillows of delicious artificial cherry or lime jello. Leave your inhibitions behind and let your imagination run wild!

How much will you have to pay to be a part of this twice-in-a lifetime offer, you ask? Our beautiful sales representatives, Hillary, Jackie and Shelly will be in the main lobby with brochures and enrollment forms. Be sure to get there early to avoid the long lines. You can beat the lines by leaving a comment using the handy feature at the end of this advertisement.

Don't miss out, the chance won't come again, at least not until the next time we meet in the ballroom of the fabulous Newark Liberty Airport Marriott.

The Steinman and Schwartz families look forward to welcoming you to Club Omega with warm smiles and ice cold glasses of the bug-juice of your choice!

Your host,

Artie

P.S. Act now and you'll receive a complimentary set of salt and pepper shakers from the Rosemond hotel!